Third day i suppose?
This is not the end of the world.
Shuxin is ALIVE!! It's not like i'm going to die without him.
But i'll die without friends and family!!! Any friends of mine decided to leave me too? You'd better not!!
However, i won't deny that i miss him or things like that.
Going out soon.. Going to have fun with my beloved friends :)
Got to go!! Gotta dress up myself ^^
cheers!
btw, thanks for those who are still cheering me up:) love you guys! <3
Saturday, January 24, 2009
Friday, January 23, 2009
emptiness
Second day without him. I'm still trying very hard to get back to normal Shuxin.
Feeling so lonely so empty.
It became a habit for me to look back at our photos. I want those in your phone. You promised me not to delete any of them.
I felt so sorry that i made my parents worry about me.
Yesterday, i decided to make Sushi, just to keep myself occupied so that i dont have time to think of him. Who knows, once i finish making, he pop up in my mind again.
Of course, tears dropped.
Both mom and dad saw that and kept asking me what happened, yet, i refused to tell them but i think they can guess by themselves.
Then, the whole car remain silent just because i was unhappy.
Brother was just so so so smart.. He skipped those songs which will reminds me of him.
Dad brought us to KLCC last night. I like to shop kao kao in KLCC, probably that is why he brought us to KLCC once he saw i cried, to cheer me up. Thanks daddy.
But i din buy anythin at the end.
Early this morning, my dad opened my door and came in and look at me. He seldom came into my room. Guess he is worrying about me doing stupid thing. I felt so guilty for making them worry. I'm sorry..
Atleast for now for today, i haven't drop any tears. I'll try and i'm doing my very best.
Thanks for those who are trying to cheer me up. Give me some time, i'll be fine:)
Its hard as Lih Chi said. We went to tooo many places, too many stories, too many memories etc. He will automatically pop up in my mind whenever i pass by those places or even listening to some songs.
Currently listening to: Everything by Lee Hom. Automatically, it reminds me of him again. Wondering what is he doing, how is he doing. Well, i'll just wait till he come and find me. till then...
take care people!
Need to clean up my messy tableeee now T.T
oh ya!
Feeling so lonely so empty.
It became a habit for me to look back at our photos. I want those in your phone. You promised me not to delete any of them.
I felt so sorry that i made my parents worry about me.
Yesterday, i decided to make Sushi, just to keep myself occupied so that i dont have time to think of him. Who knows, once i finish making, he pop up in my mind again.
Of course, tears dropped.
Both mom and dad saw that and kept asking me what happened, yet, i refused to tell them but i think they can guess by themselves.
Then, the whole car remain silent just because i was unhappy.
Brother was just so so so smart.. He skipped those songs which will reminds me of him.
Dad brought us to KLCC last night. I like to shop kao kao in KLCC, probably that is why he brought us to KLCC once he saw i cried, to cheer me up. Thanks daddy.
But i din buy anythin at the end.
Early this morning, my dad opened my door and came in and look at me. He seldom came into my room. Guess he is worrying about me doing stupid thing. I felt so guilty for making them worry. I'm sorry..
Atleast for now for today, i haven't drop any tears. I'll try and i'm doing my very best.
Thanks for those who are trying to cheer me up. Give me some time, i'll be fine:)
Its hard as Lih Chi said. We went to tooo many places, too many stories, too many memories etc. He will automatically pop up in my mind whenever i pass by those places or even listening to some songs.
Currently listening to: Everything by Lee Hom. Automatically, it reminds me of him again. Wondering what is he doing, how is he doing. Well, i'll just wait till he come and find me. till then...
take care people!
Need to clean up my messy tableeee now T.T
oh ya!
HAPPY CHINESE NEW YEAR!!!!!
will not give up.
Wednesday, January 21, 2009
Full Stop
Guess the title of this post is clear enough.
Things dont come as i wish.
Although its a short one, but i really happy, i'm really glad that you were beside me.
Thanks for everything you have done.
Thanks for all the memories.
Thanks for all the happiness, contentedness etc.
It'll be more than a thousand thanks i want to tell you.
I respected your decision thou i dont want to.
In these few months, we went to many places, shared a lot of stories.
In these few months, we never argue.
In these few months, you taught me a lot, pampered me a lot (guess most of them knew).
I'm sorry that i didnt fully trusted you. I didnt meant to do so.
I'm sorry that i burdened you for the past few months.
I'm sorry that i didint bring much surprise or presents to you.
Thanks for being so honest to me. I remembered when you started treating me so cold, i thought that you met Shuxin2. But you said no, you didnt. The reason is: you want to push yourself and focus on your sports and you feel bad for not having enough time to accompany me. This time, i decided to trust you. In the last phone call we had, you claimed that you actually still love me and we will get back together if nothing happened but still depends on fate. I cant comment anything about this.
So i'm here to announce: I'm single but not available.
He became part of my life since last October.
I havent seen him for 2weeks+.
I really miss him.
I dont know when i'll be able to see him again although he said that he'll find me again.
Friends around me know how deep the hole is. I'll try and i'm trying my very best.
This time, it's really hard to put down, seriously.
I dont know why this happened so suddenly.
You should know how much i support you.
Please take good care of yourself, please dont hurt yourself anymore.
I do hope what you told me all is truth.
Lastly, i love you!
tears are rolling, again. i am controlling hard to stop it from dropping.
Things dont come as i wish.
Although its a short one, but i really happy, i'm really glad that you were beside me.
Thanks for everything you have done.
Thanks for all the memories.
Thanks for all the happiness, contentedness etc.
It'll be more than a thousand thanks i want to tell you.
I respected your decision thou i dont want to.
In these few months, we went to many places, shared a lot of stories.
In these few months, we never argue.
In these few months, you taught me a lot, pampered me a lot (guess most of them knew).
I'm sorry that i didnt fully trusted you. I didnt meant to do so.
I'm sorry that i burdened you for the past few months.
I'm sorry that i didint bring much surprise or presents to you.
Thanks for being so honest to me. I remembered when you started treating me so cold, i thought that you met Shuxin2. But you said no, you didnt. The reason is: you want to push yourself and focus on your sports and you feel bad for not having enough time to accompany me. This time, i decided to trust you. In the last phone call we had, you claimed that you actually still love me and we will get back together if nothing happened but still depends on fate. I cant comment anything about this.
So i'm here to announce: I'm single but not available.
He became part of my life since last October.I havent seen him for 2weeks+.
I really miss him.
I dont know when i'll be able to see him again although he said that he'll find me again.
Friends around me know how deep the hole is. I'll try and i'm trying my very best.
This time, it's really hard to put down, seriously.
I dont know why this happened so suddenly.
You should know how much i support you.
Please take good care of yourself, please dont hurt yourself anymore.
I do hope what you told me all is truth.
Lastly, i love you!
i know you wont see this, but i hope somehow you will found it out.
Mommy: i know you're worrying about me. I'm so sorry. I will try my best:) Give me sometime, I'll be back to normal cheerful, naughty daughter-of-yours again.tears are rolling, again. i am controlling hard to stop it from dropping.
To laogong of mine: Be tough! We'll pass through this "moment" together. I can do it, and of course you can:) Okays? I know its hard, but i'm trying my very best so you must too. I knew Uncle Neth will always support us one right? Happy Single Day :D remember to be tough! <3
Tuesday, January 20, 2009
Exam's OVER!!! but i still feel so stressful.. WHY?!!
Ok cut it! We went to OneUtama straight after exam with my uni mates. We were suppose to go to MidValley but someone went to the wrong way!!
I'm not in mood to blog so i shall stop here. I'll update soon:)
I'm bored to death!!! ZhengHao faster finish ur exam T.T
I think i've decided not to give up, unless i found something which made me give up. Coz as vian said, it's a deep hole. I'll try my very best.
Ok cut it! We went to OneUtama straight after exam with my uni mates. We were suppose to go to MidValley but someone went to the wrong way!!
I'm not in mood to blog so i shall stop here. I'll update soon:)
I'm bored to death!!! ZhengHao faster finish ur exam T.T
I think i've decided not to give up, unless i found something which made me give up. Coz as vian said, it's a deep hole. I'll try my very best.
Saturday, January 17, 2009
I am feeling so much better now..
Creditsss to poor laogong of mine - Vivian Yap Hooi Pin!!!
Had a super duper long call with her last night. 4hours ya?
Ya i suppose.. Till 4 in the morning.. Crazy? Girls talk marrr!!
Was emo again n again, how wish you are beside me when we were talking last night.
Uncle Neth, u missed out alot again xP mwahahahaha!!
I knew my toughts, i knew what i want to do.
I knew i hurt youerrr hopefully abit la =x but now atleast i feel so much better.
Atleast i found back my spirit of fighting.
I still don't know what i'll be doing next. But i shall keep to my words for now. Will keep you updated:)
You understood my feeling, i knew. I am such a weak, fragile girl as u knew.
Thanks for accompanying me until i feel ok.
But i felt so guilty for keeping you up till so EARLY =s I'm sorry!!! *hugsss*
I'm loved :)
Thanks alot alot to Vivian Yap Hooi Pin!!
I heart you!! Mwwahhhhhhhhsss!!
Creditsss to poor laogong of mine - Vivian Yap Hooi Pin!!!
Had a super duper long call with her last night. 4hours ya?
Ya i suppose.. Till 4 in the morning.. Crazy? Girls talk marrr!!
Was emo again n again, how wish you are beside me when we were talking last night.
Uncle Neth, u missed out alot again xP mwahahahaha!!
I knew my toughts, i knew what i want to do.
I knew i hurt you
Atleast i found back my spirit of fighting.
I still don't know what i'll be doing next. But i shall keep to my words for now. Will keep you updated:)
You understood my feeling, i knew. I am such a weak, fragile girl as u knew.
Thanks for accompanying me until i feel ok.
But i felt so guilty for keeping you up till so EARLY =s I'm sorry!!! *hugsss*
I'm loved :)
Thanks alot alot to Vivian Yap Hooi Pin!!
I heart you!! Mwwahhhhhhhhsss!!
Friday, January 16, 2009
Saturday, January 10, 2009
Its 3.47pm now. I cant concentrate studying. I planned to study Engineering Maths today. Well, i completed half of it only.. You didnt even give me a msg or call till now. Or is it lik what u said in ur previous msg?
"....i understand what u means, i suggest i settle and clear my things. then only i find u ok..? you agree? Until you finish ur exam ok?" said Mr C.
Is that mean i'm going to suffer lik this till my exam is over? No, i dont want!
I dont know what to do now.. I dont know what can i do.. Anyone can tell me what can i do?
I'm down, very down, very emo.. Tears are rolling in my eyes. NOWAY!! Shuxin be tough!!
3.52pm now. back to books.
"....i understand what u means, i suggest i settle and clear my things. then only i find u ok..? you agree? Until you finish ur exam ok?" said Mr C.
Is that mean i'm going to suffer lik this till my exam is over? No, i dont want!
I dont know what to do now.. I dont know what can i do.. Anyone can tell me what can i do?
I'm down, very down, very emo.. Tears are rolling in my eyes. NOWAY!! Shuxin be tough!!
3.52pm now. back to books.
Friday, January 9, 2009
ACP is over as i mentioned in my previous post.
Time to concentrate on 3 other papers-HG1M11, FLM and PEF..
Nothing much to comment on yesterday's paper..
Din manage to sleep well on the night before. Not because of worrying about exam, but is worrying my hostel. Lih Chi told me the incident, and made me so so so worry about my hostel as my baby nano speed 9000 was left there, my rice cooker etc.. So i flooded *u's new msg.. I think *u shocked when *u woke up the next morning.. I'm sorry=s
So, since i'm a coward, *u decided to accompany me back to my hostel. Left at 1230pm reached hostel about 1smtg. Glad to announce that my room is OKAY :D Nothing happened.. And here is my nanospeed 9000.. I brought it back to Kepong now.. Its very safe now.. Some might wonder why is this stupid nanospeed so important to me.. Well, it's meaningful.
*u rested at my hostel while i was doing final reading.. Get myself ready by 350pm. *u sent me to exam hall by 4pm (exam is at 430pm). Then *u went for gym in my Uni while waiting me to finish my paper at 630pm. *aza aza fighting*
630pm.. *u picked me up and we went for dinner at Broga. Ohya, i din had any meals since i woke up and 7pm is my first meal. Coz i wasnt feeling well in the morning :( Went back to Kepong after dinner. *u, thanks alot for spending *your whole day accompanying me..
Nothing else happened yesterday.. Was freaking tired so went to bed straight after bathin once i reach home.
Next, i i i.... PHOBIA KUANTAN.. Why? Aiks, will keep it to myself. no lies, thanks!
Arghhhh... stress!!!!! Back to books now.. :(
cheers!
good luck people!! :D
Time to concentrate on 3 other papers-HG1M11, FLM and PEF..
Nothing much to comment on yesterday's paper..
Din manage to sleep well on the night before. Not because of worrying about exam, but is worrying my hostel. Lih Chi told me the incident, and made me so so so worry about my hostel as my baby nano speed 9000 was left there, my rice cooker etc.. So i flooded *u's new msg.. I think *u shocked when *u woke up the next morning.. I'm sorry=s
So, since i'm a coward, *u decided to accompany me back to my hostel. Left at 1230pm reached hostel about 1smtg. Glad to announce that my room is OKAY :D Nothing happened.. And here is my nanospeed 9000.. I brought it back to Kepong now.. Its very safe now.. Some might wonder why is this stupid nanospeed so important to me.. Well, it's meaningful.
*u rested at my hostel while i was doing final reading.. Get myself ready by 350pm. *u sent me to exam hall by 4pm (exam is at 430pm). Then *u went for gym in my Uni while waiting me to finish my paper at 630pm. *aza aza fighting*630pm.. *u picked me up and we went for dinner at Broga. Ohya, i din had any meals since i woke up and 7pm is my first meal. Coz i wasnt feeling well in the morning :( Went back to Kepong after dinner. *u, thanks alot for spending *your whole day accompanying me..
Nothing else happened yesterday.. Was freaking tired so went to bed straight after bathin once i reach home.
Next, i i i.... PHOBIA KUANTAN.. Why? Aiks, will keep it to myself. no lies, thanks!
Arghhhh... stress!!!!! Back to books now.. :(
cheers!
good luck people!! :D
Thursday, January 8, 2009
Thursday, January 1, 2009
Happy New Year:)
Its 2009.. I cant believe that! Time really flies..
Cant believe that i'm 20 now. Correction, shud be 19+1. *sobs*
i'm feeling so so so old now *sobs*
Probably i shall think the bright side, i'm growing, mature =/
Feeling so bad now, because went home soearly last night. 4am!! mwahahaha!!
Luckily my parents din say anythin about that.
Firstly, i would lik to take this opportunity to thanks KinHoe for organising this BBQ countdown party. ps: i'm not so sure who's the organiser, i think everyone do hav their task. Thanks alot.
Had a great chance to meet all my long-time-no-see friends. Sin Ying, Zheng Hao, Pris, Zeng Chey, Qi Hao, Jack, Keng Wei, 1e, Gan, San, Sylvester, kkw etc. To those i din list down ur name doesnt mean that i forgotten u guys, but really met too too too many frens of mine last night.
I dont hav any pictures of last night's event. I shall wait someone to upload them then i'll post it here:) Surprisingly we din had any liquor last night. *clapps*
To those who are studying:
All the best in your studies:) GAMBATEHH!!!
To those who are working:
Try to balance yourselves.. Dont work blindly:)
Cant believe that i'm 20 now. Correction, shud be 19+1. *sobs*
i'm feeling so so so old now *sobs*
Probably i shall think the bright side, i'm growing, mature =/
Feeling so bad now, because went home so
Luckily my parents din say anythin about that.
Firstly, i would lik to take this opportunity to thanks KinHoe for organising this BBQ countdown party. ps: i'm not so sure who's the organiser, i think everyone do hav their task. Thanks alot.
Had a great chance to meet all my long-time-no-see friends. Sin Ying, Zheng Hao, Pris, Zeng Chey, Qi Hao, Jack, Keng Wei, 1e, Gan, San, Sylvester, kkw etc. To those i din list down ur name doesnt mean that i forgotten u guys, but really met too too too many frens of mine last night.
I dont hav any pictures of last night's event. I shall wait someone to upload them then i'll post it here:) Surprisingly we din had any liquor last night. *clapps*
To those who are studying:
All the best in your studies:) GAMBATEHH!!!
To those who are working:
Try to balance yourselves.. Dont work blindly:)
Xin officially love ALL OF YOU!!! *hugsss*
To SM Ken:
i miss you bro!! How are you doing in UK? Had a great New Year Eve?
All the best bro!! HAPPY NEW YEAR!!
To Rachel Nge:
*hugs* i miss you tooooo:( When are u coming back to Msia? CNY? Hows New Year Eve in Ireland? Gambateh!! Doctor-to-be:) HAPPY NEW YEAR!!
To Alex Koh:
How are u doing in Russia? I miss you:( Guess u wont see this.. But i hope someone can help me to send my regards to him.. Take care!! HAPPY NEW YEAR!!! all the best in your studies too:)
To ***:
I hope you can behave yourself. Stop being so childish anymore.. You're no longer 15 or 16 years old. 20years old. You shud grow up and start thinking. I hope you know what you are doing. I dont know what to say about you. I just hope you think maturely.. Anyway, Happy New Year and all the best!
I shall stop now.. I'm feeling very guilty for not studying for my exams now.. I shall go to study NOW:/
i still hav so so so much things to write but....i try ok? Sorry:(
i miss you bro!! How are you doing in UK? Had a great New Year Eve?
All the best bro!! HAPPY NEW YEAR!!
To Rachel Nge:
*hugs* i miss you tooooo:( When are u coming back to Msia? CNY? Hows New Year Eve in Ireland? Gambateh!! Doctor-to-be:) HAPPY NEW YEAR!!
To Alex Koh:
How are u doing in Russia? I miss you:( Guess u wont see this.. But i hope someone can help me to send my regards to him.. Take care!! HAPPY NEW YEAR!!! all the best in your studies too:)
To ***:
I hope you can behave yourself. Stop being so childish anymore.. You're no longer 15 or 16 years old. 20years old. You shud grow up and start thinking. I hope you know what you are doing. I dont know what to say about you. I just hope you think maturely.. Anyway, Happy New Year and all the best!
I shall stop now.. I'm feeling very guilty for not studying for my exams now.. I shall go to study NOW:/
i still hav so so so much things to write but....i try ok? Sorry:(
HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!
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